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in: Justin McElroy, Hosts, People

Justin McElroy

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"Trans rights. Obviously." -Justin McElroy[1]
"Justin" redirects here. For other people, see Justin (disambiguation).
Wiki-wordmark "This isn't anything!"

The following is written for the purpose of entertainment, from a skewed perspective, with very little restriction on what can or can't be added. For a more factual take on the person, see Justin McElroy/Serious

Justin Tyler[26] "Houston's Native Son"[7] McElroy is a co-host of My Brother, My Brother and Me. He is the oldest brother of Travis McElroy and Griffin McElroy, and son of Clint McElroy. Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy was a founding Editor-At-Large (meaning editor on the loose–an editor who cannot be contained; a wild and free editor whomst roams the wilderness) of Polygon (the video-game/ pop-culture site of Vox media). Justin and Griffin left Polygon in 2018, but implied they'd still appear in/contribute to video content.

He had a case of the Mondays!! He had those old Monday blues!! He was just trying to chase em away!!![27]

Is he haunted?? Is he fucking POSSESSED?!?!?!?!??!? HE USED TO BE GRIFFIN'S BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!![27]

He also used to vape. #vapenash

Also, he is good out here.[8]

He is permanently bonded with the equally eternal beach man Jimmy "James" Buffett.

Any gifts to him can be sent to:

P.O. Box 54
Huntington, West Virginia 25706

Early Life[]

Justin starred in public access TV shows The Time Belt and Kidsmag![28] as a kid. Justin "Justin Tyler" McElroy is eternal.

Justin has worked at Blockbuster, twice. He first got the job at age 16[29] and later quit on his own terms, but the second time, he was fired for stealing a copy of Fight Club which he says, "was a very Tyler Durden thing to do."[5] The copy he stole had been set aside for the store owner to purchase.[30] While working there, he faked an allergy to Windex in order to get out of cleaning tasks.[31]

He also worked at several stores within the Huntington Mall: Best Buy, Olive Garden, Babbage's, and Toys 'R' Us.[32]

Personal Life[]

What's up everybody? His name is Root Beer Surge and he's a cool teen just like you!

Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy is married to Dr. Sydnee McElroy (much beloved by all). They have a podcast, Sawbones, where they take a "marital tour of misguided medicine". They have a sweet angel daughter called Charlie who will, quote, "punch the moon!" They also have a new one, named Cooper. She (allegedly) poops a lot.

Justin McElroy has never shown any sign of aging, because he is the eternal brother.

Justin also cannot be killed, as he has explicitly stated. [33]

Justin began taking Taekwondo classes in 2017[34] and has achieved the rank of Blue Belt (as of 2019).[35] His power surge has cut off further communication, and we have lost track of his current rank.

He possesses a "Nut Jar," which he fills with his own combination of nuts instead of buying mixed nuts on his own.[36]

He can beat you up, he just doesn't want to. But you're on thin fucking ice, buddy.

He has been hit by both Griffin and Travis, but this is because he has allowed them to.

Justin "Juice" McElroy is the Huey of the McElroy three, and thus takes on the duty of being the most responsible for his two baby brothers. Justin "Island Boy" McElroy is also the only McElroy (including their dad) to not use glasses, which is because he leeched up their eye power when he was young to make himself the most powerful brother. it did not work. Travis still reigns as the supreme boy (as evidenced by his viking-esque beard), although he is not eternal like Justin "J-man" McElroy.

He's shaped like a friend and sings sometimes, but it has to be a blue moon for him not to sing any of the masterworks by his dear friend, the equally eternal James Buffett. Half the shirts he owns are Tybee Island model, given to him by family. Beach shirts relax him.[27]

When Lin-Manuel Miranda ascends into the McElroy family, as it has been foretold, he will actually become the older-middlest brother, in spite of Lin being older than Justin "Babyface" McElroy. This is because the McElroys actually measure age in how many cheesy palm print shirts they own, rather than time. That's why Griffin always will remain in Forbes 30 under 30, since Griffin owns only cool cat shirts.

Justin in fact had a former spouse, named Dwight Slappe, with whom he had a YouTube show, called Things I Bought At Sheetz, that ran for 3 beautiful, emotional seasons.

The only way to kill Justin McElroy, as revealed by Griffin in Episode 146, "is to poison him with the bio-toxin while he's drowning and being electrocuted."

Justin can only be damaged at the end of his third attack phase, after firing his bow six times. Once he has been attacked in this phase, he will stumble back into the eel tank, at which point he will open his mouth. If the player successfully shoots it with a poison aspect weapon, he will take between 35 and 50 damage. He is weak to poison damage.

Everything he ever does is completely valid.

He fell under Count Donut's spell, but lived to tell the tale.[37]

He's surprisingly short. In fact, every single McElroy except Travis is shorter than you think they are. Fortunately, Juice's raw power makes up for this.

He was cast in various cameo roles for the 2020 film Trolls World Tour: the Techno Beat Drop Button, the "You Suck" Tumbleweed, and part of Skyscraper, alongside his brothers. If you wait long enough after the credits, Justin will come out from behind the screen, revealing that he was playing all of the trolls as sock puppets. Do not follow him back behind the screen.

Justin harbors a well-documented fear of Baby Yoda.

Recurring Segments[]

Running Goofs[]

Though it has been some time since Justin "Root Beer Surge" McElroy utilized this particular technique, he once frequently utilized “putting some jelly on it” as a deterrent/prank. The greatest prank he has ever pulled, however, is making the enraptured audience believe we can actually hear him and the podcast is not two brothers rambling with the shared voice in their heads. We hear him too, you see. That voice in your head, that you are listening to right now? A fearsome hivemind-esque creature only known as Justin "Hoops" McElroy.

Notable Impressions[]

Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy's notable impressions include Edward Snowden, Amelie, and vocaloid superstar Hatsune Miku.[38] Most recently debuting his Steve Martin impression, which he learned from personal, 1-2-1 Skype sessions with Steve Fartin himself.

Jimmy Buffett[]

Starting around Episode 196, Justin "Alpha" McElroy became obsessed with his current rival, the equally eternal James "Jimmy" Buffett. This has escalated to the point where it dominates his Spotify account, much to the shame and disappointment of Griffin.

Older-middlest brother Lin-Manuel Miranda used his Broadway Icon Powers to allow the eternal beach man James Buffett and Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy to meet for Justin's birthday[39]. During this meeting, Justin "The Kid" McElroy and James likely formed an Island Bond, through Justin "Pasta Man" McElroy's good Island Boy vibes, which may have charmed Mr. Jimmy Buffett into accepting the role of a Guestspert on the podcast[40]. This is only a theory, but many believe that the equally eternal Jimmy Buffett is an all powerful ocean spirit that makes his own decisions, therefore he could have decided to be a guestspert with or without an Island Bond.

Other Shows[]

Some Good JPEGs[]

References[]

  1. ↑ Justin & Sydnee say trans rights in a livestream.
  2. ↑ Justin "Alpha" McElroy is the next Tester
  3. ↑ Karaoke name mentioned in Episode 104
  4. ↑ Radio DJ name mentioned in Episode 124
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 From the TV show
  6. ↑ From Episode 293
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 From Episode 416
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 From The Adventure Zone
  9. ↑ Name mentioned in Episode 367
  10. ↑ From Episode 47
  11. ↑ Currently down as of Jan 17, 21. Wayback Machine Mirror
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 From Episode 196
  13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 From Episode 240
  14. ↑ First mentioned in Episode 337
  15. ↑ From Episode 360
  16. ↑ From Episode 365
  17. ↑ 17.0 17.1 First mentioned in Episode 390
  18. ↑ From Episode 462
  19. ↑ 19.0 19.1 From Episode 432
  20. ↑ From Episode 437
  21. ↑ From Episode 457
  22. ↑ No longer for sale as of at least November 7, 2020, but the redirect still works
  23. ↑ From Episode 531
  24. ↑ From Sawbones Episode 346: A Health Care Voter's Guide
  25. ↑ 25.0 25.1 25.2 From Episode 542
  26. ↑ Mentioned in Episode 284
  27. ↑ 27.0 27.1 27.2 From Episode 220
  28. ↑ Kidsmag! covering CES 1992 via Polygon
  29. ↑ Episode 269
  30. ↑ Everybody Has A Podcast (Except You)
  31. ↑ Episode 361
  32. ↑ Episode 442
  33. ↑ Episode 646
  34. ↑ Justin first mentions his intent to take Taekwondo classes in Episode 336.
  35. ↑ Justin most recently mentioned being a Blue Belt in Episode 467.
  36. ↑ From MaxFunCon2019 Q&A
  37. ↑ From Episode 532
  38. ↑ Hatsune Miku appears in Episode 221.
  39. ↑ Episode 380
  40. ↑ Episode 383
  41. ↑ Though a 90 second demo was made and could be listened to here. Video removed from YouTube, no known alternate source.
  42. ↑ Made up in Sawbones E301: Taint Tanning and Heliotherapy
  43. ↑ Made up in Episode 33: Bramblepelt
  44. ↑ Made up in Episode 98: Two 'til Tulsa
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