Thread:Addytude/@comment-24459390-20140808185950

I don't deserve you...especially after everything I've done to you....hurting you over and over again....I hate myself.....

I know why you don't love me like you used to. I have screwed up so much I want to die. I even cut my wrist last night before you stopped me. Reading your very first letter, then thinking of the way it is now made me cry. I used to mean everything to you, and now I've caused so much pain that I don't matter any more. I truly am a mistake.

I don't deserve you. At all. Period. Why you don't totally hate me now is beyond me. I've spent and wasted all your love on my mistakes, and I go to bed every night despising myself for doing those things.

James deserves you more than me, he's done everything I've always failed to do. Be there for you, not screw up, not be a failure. ;-;

You used to tell me all the time that you love me, but now I've screwed up so much you don't. You hate me, but I hate myself more. I hate myself so much that two thirds of my ribcage is laced with cuts. I have so much scar tissue there it's not even funny.....

When we first went out, the relationship that has turned into more, the more recent one, we were unbreakable. Unseparable. Now I've ruined things and you can't stand me, and I can't stand myself. It hurts to know how much I've done and how much it's destroyed you, and I can't take any of it back. ._. You don't believe in forgiving people, but when I say I am sorry, I mean it with my heart, my life.

Sorry for everything I've done, Nate Miller. I love you for eternity. 