User:Slayingthehalcyon/greif-loss

This blog is to help users when they have a time of loss, while it's set up for death, it can help with other kinds of loss as well. c:

=The 5 Stages of Grief=

Denial and Isolation (1)
The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished love one is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.

Anger (2)
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain begin to re-emerge. We are generally not ready. The intense emotion is again deflected from our vulnerable selves, and is redirected and expressed as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased love one. Rationally we know that the person or item is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. We may feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us angrier.

Remember, grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor a right way to do it.

Anger (2.1)
The doctor who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease might become a convient target for your anger. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them.

Do not hesitate to ask your doctor to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your loved one's illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Understand the options available to you. Take your time.

Bargaining (3)
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control–
 * If only we had sought medical attention sooner...
 * If only we got a second opinion from another doctor...
 * If only we had tried to be a better person toward them...

Secretly we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality of loss.