User:I'm not Garry

Good evening!
Welcome to my account's page. I don't know why or how this exists, but here we are!

I'm Garry, known for being annoying, griefing (non-illegally), and initiating the Great Kong War (illegally :( sowwy). I identify as a human and I'm a member of an ethnicity. That's all I'm spilling.

Anyway, time for a documentation!

Garry
Not to be confused with Gay. Garry is an anthropomorphic mammalian organism of Earthly descent. He is known for many things, most notably the Great Kong War and being annoying in Kaiju Universe.

Name
Garry's name is not truly Garry. He is named after Garry Newman, creator of Garry's Mod. Therefore, Garry is a pseudonym. He has refused to reveal his real name publicly.

Many who encounter Garry are prone to the misconception that his name is spelled as "Gary." This is not the case. There have also been assumptions that Garry is named after a snail, which is also false.

History
Garry was born at an unknown date during a shakedown in 1979. He was raised from childhood to adulthood with the philosophy of "cool kids never have the time." He eventually found employment at an undisclosed electrical systems corporations working on a live wire right up off the street. Garry also married his dream woman in 2001, after a bit of a rough start. His first attempt at initiating a relationship at her was "you and I should meet." Garry traveled to Japan with his newfound eternal happiness in 2002 for their anniversary.

Garry was involved in an accident at his job in July of 2004. Camera systems recorded Garry activating systems for a routine check, just as his coworker walked into the room. Garry mauled the everloving tar out of him for stealing his food for the forty-seventh time reportedly tried to stop the man, but it was too late. The man's body was last seen convulsing on the ground after an unidentified high-speed wireless device about nine millimeters in diameter cleaved straight through his skull.

Gymnastics
Garry is capable of leaping over seven hundred feet in the air and landing on his feet.

Hyperintelligence
Garry has been shown to have a higher IQ than most rocks. His church pastor commented, "Who is Garry?"

Super Speed
Garry can run faster than the speed of light at will. This has earned him the nickname "G-Train."

Female Repellent
Before he married his current wife, Garry showed the ability to immediately predispose all women in a one hundred meter radius to abhor the sight of him by speaking.

Affiliation with the KGB
What?

Scandals and Controversies
Garry is known for inciting the Great Kong War. This has earned him the nickname "That Little Moron." He is solidified in the memories of many players as the one Kong who defected when the others turned to Jet Jaguar Beta. He vowed to atomize every robotic Kaiju he saw from that day forward.

Because of his insolence, Garry has sparked minor controversy. It is arguably immoral what he did. Garry's defense in the Supreme Court Case Garry v. Verret was, "Nuh uh." The judge immediately dropped all charges and president Joe Biden awarded Garry the Presidential Medal of Freedom, much to Verret's dismay.

Trivia
-If you were to take a plastic knife from your high school cafeteria and jab it into Garry's back, he would probably be understandably upset. You would then receive a wireless high-speed device straight to the bridge of your nose and out of your temple.

-Nobody likes Garry.

-Garry died and came back from Hell. He was bored.

-Garry's favorite thing to do is lick the rust clean off of spoons for pocket change.

-Garry has stated before that he enjoys being annoying.