Thread:Lesbian78/@comment-37109357-20181005211500

Dear FTND,

I wanted to share my experience with porn because it’s not something I talk about with anyone. My parents know that I’ve struggled in the past, but don’t know the extent to which it affected me and still affects me to this day. I’d like this to remain anonymous. I just want people to know my story.

I hit puberty before all of my friends did. I often got teased for wearing bras, my breakout skin, and for liking boys first. As far as I knew, I was the only girl in school who was experiencing all these things. With puberty coming early, so did the sex talk, and that’s when everything changed.

The first time I saw porn, I was in sixth grade. I had heard about one of my favorite pop star’s leaked naked pictures, and since I was curious and had just been introduced to the topic of sex, I searched these pictures on my mom’s laptop. No, they weren’t anything graphic or extreme, but those naked pictures are what got me started. Since I didn’t have a computer or a phone with internet access, I couldn’t look at those kinds of photos very often, but I did whenever I got the chance.

Then, in eighth grade, I received an iPod touch for my birthday. My parents were not technologically savvy at all, so they didn’t know how to set up a passcode to access the internet or any other safety tools. I started looking at pictures of naked women weekly. I downloaded chat room apps full of adults that were sending pornographic pictures to me—still just a naive 14-year-old girl. I didn’t feel as if it was an addiction, but it was definitely an obsession. I was always thinking about porn, even if it had been days since I’d seen one of those pictures. 