User blog:FreaksterDeekster/Depression

Hey guys FreaksterDeekster here. I know for a first blog we’re talking about a scary topic. Those with depression aren’t going to get it. They don’t feel the pain We with depression do. For me personally it feels like I’m drowning. I’m screaming for help but, no one helps. It’s silly really because I hide that I’m depressed. I’m often silent when I’m screaming inside. Sick of crying, tired of trying, yes I’m smiling, but inside I’m dying. I’m supposed to be on antidepressants but I lost them. I’ve been without them for about two weeks and I feel fine. Am I really fine though? I feel empty. I either feel to much, or not enough. I’m either to clingy or I push everyone away. They just don’t get it. I can go on for weeks pretending I’m fine, but in all honesty when I’m walking home along a busy street I want to jump in front of the cars. Depression is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of us holding on and being strong for too long. It’s painful. Watching your friends all happy and you feeling absolutely shitty. I’m empty, numb. I wanna feel whole, I wanna feel normal, I wanna feel human. I wanna feel like I’m worth something. I wanna go one day, one day is all I friggin ask. It’s a horrible feeling. Our brains are not producing enough serotonin. All I ask is why. What did we ever do to have this done to us? We didn’t ask for this and yet we are judged by it. I sound like a damn preacher. We are not to be blamed for our chemical imbalance. It’s the same for our looks. In this day and age, my generation is flawed. Guys only care about looks and their sexual pleasures. Girls are becoming more judgemental and catty. Our world is flawed. People are flawed. And yet the people who don’t really want anything to do with society because they are so mean, get blamed for the things wrong with them. Depression is a choice you can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be depressed. This is bullshit. No one chooses to be depressed. It’s just happens. Depression is like a war, you either win, or you die trying. FreaksterDeekster signing out.