User:TurtleShroom/Other TurtleShroom Productions/NS/Cheesy poem

This cheesy little poem was written by me on a distant roleplaying forum thread. On my user page(s) in Wikia, I sometimes link to other works I write. However, the site this poem comes from, is not clean enough to be directly linked towards by any means.

As such, it was copied and pasted right here, so that, when I link to "Other TurtleShroom Productions", I can give them my work without exposing them to something they may not wish to see.

With that being said, enjoy the poem!

-- † TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) Hey George... ...you forgot Halliburton. † 01:18, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

BACKGROUND: The game is a browser-based adventure in which your create a country. Each day, you are given crazy "issues" with even crazier choices and consequences. It has a thriving roleplay forum. My nation, simply called "TurtleShroom", is a mushroom and turtle-dominated regime with a strictly enforced Prohibition on Alcohol, moral standards, and really, a right-wing backwoods government whose state religion is the Southern Baptist denomination of Christianity. Why do I roleplay as something that crazy, you ask? The only explanation I can give is a shameful one uttered throughout the Internet. I did it... for the Lulz.

THE POEM:  Whether at home or whether abraod, I know that I'm always watched by my God. With He as my Witness and Feds grant my pay, the lacking of morals results would not let me stay. Never shall I set goals through dishonest means, Nor shall I be sponsered by corrupted regimes. Untainted in job is an absolute must, For we can't run TS without Masses' trust.

Say no to corruption, Say no to kickbacks, If anyone offers, Then you should make tracks. Being honest, they say, is the best policy, May that special doctrine remain true in me. To heck with cronyism, To heck, heck I say! I got here by my will, For I seized the day.

When others take money to write into law, I laugh, as I know that their careers will fall. A promotion if I keep quiet, you say? No, 'tis better to be thrown away.

TurtleShroom's government is special you see, 'Cause we adhere to high morality. When we say that we're Holy, then Holy we mean, Not one dishonest thing shall in our regime. -and lo, I cringe, I shake and I dread, May no one e'er catch me in a fellow man's bed! If marriage exists inside my species, May no creatures go mating, 'cept with my spouse and me.

You laugh, do you not, At this federal plot? Any government that's clean, Their state will get shot? Well if TS must die in annexation, May we be known as an honest nation. History will tell of great men and great battles, -but only in TS do they tell of our tattles.

Secret police, you request, so we may fight our best? No, no we say, and we put it to rest. "A spy, not I", the captured one say, To save their butt and live another day. Any spy that's employed by TS, If captured, must not speak, Can't talk in duress. Silence they hold, and torture they face, -but giving false info when singing's a disgrace. 'Tis better to hur national security, Then lie and deny That nuclear scheme. I'm from the government, I'm here to help, -but if you act naughty, I'll tattle and yelp.

This poem is my code, This poem my desire, Should I be dishonest, Then friend, I'll be fired.