User:Platnium Vision Focus

I have had a terrible life(And you may not care at all about what I'm about to say and leave because your heartless) and I don't want to talk about anything else besides my problems. I wanted a great life, in fact I thought my life would have been great. Wrong. I was so wrong. Everything just went downhill steeper and steeper each and every day in a snap. I was so conflicted. I tortured myself in 4th and 5th grade. My mom even was mad at me. I don't even remember why I tortured myself, but 6th grade....I just can't even. 6th grade was one if the worst grades ever. And best at some parts. But seriously. I got humiliated liked 8 times in school. 10 max. I feel like I was still torturing myself. I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Don't worry. I didn't take out the knife. It was tempting to just cut myself. To just come to school dripping in my blood. I feel like what people think of me. Is more important than my choices at most times. I feel like everyone is just better than me. Even if they are down. Not more than me. Noone even gives a care in the world. Even if I did try...who would try to save me? Right in front of everyone. Knife to the neck, or gun to the head. Who would try to talk me out of it. It takes 1 person to make a difference. I may even be going crazy at times, mentally insane. You know. Not even my life is more important than yours because I feel like your better than me. I'm not a murderer and I don't want to be one at all. I'm trying my best to make the right choices to go to Heaven, but I don't even know anymore. I might even just going out into the desert to think about some things. I'm not kidding. If you think I am, your wrong. So wrong.(While I was writing this I may have went mentally insane). I really think your life is more important than my birthday. You may not think so, but I'm serious about all of this. I know people have already talked to me about it. Others may not even know about this. I will try to accomplish my goals and I'm. Stupid. Ok. You heard me, I have done alot of stupid things that wish I could change. But I guess, I may never accomplish everything I wanted to do. That even includes controlling elements for real. I even need to find true love by a certain age, or I'll just give up. I even just want to sleep through all of this(I did get high in the last bit of making this). I may even just die a premature death. Maybe. I just need time to work through this. I can and will try and do what I can to keep myself alive and keep my goals ahead of me. But seriously you'll always seem better than me.