Thread:Ben10fan3/@comment-24660155-20190603200753

Hey Beta, leaving the Wiki has given me a lot of time to think. A lot of time to think over our conversations in the Discord DMs, and a lot of time to look at myself in the mirror.

There is truly no excuse for the reprehensible things I said, especially not the pathetic justification I provided to you and the others. What I said was in the heat of the moment when I felt cornered, and wasn't in my right mind, but that certainly does not  vindicate me. I want to make it clear to you, that I in no way would ever advocate for the wanton abuse of a child. Children are very precious to me, and reading my comments myself evokes the feeling that I'm listening to a compltely different person. I thought about how I would feel if I heard someone speaking about my nephew in that manner or if his anyone had done any of that to him. I considered my sister, and how the domestic abuse she has faced shook my entire world. What I said about that certain nationality was also despicable, and flies directly in the face of my egalitarian views. Please know that was not me, and I am still ashamed two days later.

The biggest thing that stuck with me was your comment that you would expect my words and actions out of a 4Chan troll. It made me realize that while what I said and did wasn't the worst of what has been said and done on the Wiki, I should be held to a higher standard. I'm one of the older members, I'm one of the last members left from the old days of the Wiki, and by now, I should have damn well learned how to conduct myself in a mature, adult manner. I remember how you once called me a role model, and know how disappointed you must have been to see me behave the way I did. I'm not a perfect person, I eff up, and I suffer the consequences for my actions, but at my age and with my standing in our community I need to recall those of you who have admired me before I open my big, stupid mouth.

I understand if you still want to hate me, I understand if you still want nothing to do with me. All I ask is that you read this, and open your heart to the possibility of forgiving me. I have nothing to gain at this point, no ulterior motive, but I was not about to sit idly by and allow one of my closest friends to understandably remember such a bastardized version of myself.

Dios te bendiga,

AllianceScoutAiothai (talk) 20:07, June 3, 2019 (UTC) 