User blog:SparkySparkyBoomGirl/Happines & Successful: Do They Go Together?

What makes anyone a successful person? Is it their net worth amount? Is it their assets? Their job title? How big their house is? What neighborhood they live in? A car?

What do YOU think defines YOU as successful? When you interact with other people and talk about life, what do you share with them in order to make an statement about who you are and how good you are doing? Think about it silently.

Now, in a more inner way, deep inside of you, use your mind and your soul and ask yourself this: "What do I think makes me successful?"

Think about it, if you don’t know the answer is okay.

I am an immigrant from Argentina, living in the US for more than 10 years now, married, I have children, I have a dog, and I rent a house in a neighborhood that I consider “nice” (compared to the neighborhoods I grew up in, I should say “very nice”). When I ask myself if I'm a successful person, these things come to mind:

''“I found the person that I always dreamed of for a partner. And after ten years he’s still perfect.”''

“Being a mom was one of my goals and I have three children.”

“I am able to provide for my family doing what I love!”

“I am happy.”

Then, negative thoughts come to mind that threaten how secure I feel about myself and my accomplishments in life:

“I haven’t finished my bachelor’s degree yet.”

“My company is still hustling.”

“I have lots of debt.”

“I don’t have savings.”

“I am unable to help out when siblings and other family need financial help.”

“I have a couple of health issues.”

“I can’t go shopping whenever I want.”

“I can’t buy my kids stuff they like but that they don’t need.”

“Sometimes I feel that I don’t have friends to hang out with”

And finally, “…I don’t have a Tesla yet!!”

So… what is the story or facts that define me as successful? The truth is, I’m not sure. And who is in charge of defining if I am a successful person? And what are the factors they use to measure that? Who are they comparing me when they measure my success in life? Warren Buffet, Elon Musk, Indra Nooyi? If so, I'm fried then.

I love Indra Nooyi by the way.

Why is Happiness not a factor when measuring success?
I remember growing up in Argentina, my family was always poor, way below the poverty level. Lots of times we didn’t have food, or housing, or weather-appropriate clothing, or money for medicine, or toothpaste (yeah, I know, TIM). But it’s the truth. And the sad part is, my family wasn’t the only one. All over the world families, children are hungry, without housing, without food, without parents, without school, without help.

But I remember being happy, celebrating Christmas without food and, obviously, without presents. I guess because I always had what is more important or essential in life: a family that loved me (well, parents that loved me, siblings are another story), more often than not I had something to eat, school, and my family was Christian so I had Jesus.

Just with that we were happy. And I saw other people who society tags as “successful” and they didn’t have that “happy” that I had. I know that a lot of people like to say “money doesn’t buy happiness” but that is not what I’m saying.

Money deserves some credit into happiness, right? Can you be happy when you have a sick child and no money to go to the doctor or to buy what your child needs? Can you be happy when you have no home because you can’t pay rent or mortgage? Can you be happy when you see members of your family without food, or housing, or clothing, and you can’t help?

But, can you be happy when you work so hard that you don’t take care of your health? Can you be happy when you have a huge house, but you live by yourself? Can you be happy when you can’t spend time with your spouse or kids? Can you be happy when you can’t be there for Christmas, or birthdays, or graduations, or births? Can you be happy when the only thing your kids ask of you is money? Can you be happy when you’re dying but no one is there to care for you? I don’t know.

I’m interested in what other people have to say about this (without being mean please). I think I could be proven wrong or right about some of these things, but it would be interesting to hear the other side of the story you know?

Like, I would like to hear from a person who is rich how awesome it is to be rich, the pros and the cons. Then I think: "But why would rich people be reading this blog? They don’t have time for that!"

Maybe happiness should be a factor when measuring success. When we are not happy we loose our ability to control our emotions due to stress and due to being human. Our actions and responses to stressful situations become compromised and could cause us to lose things that bring monetary value to our life; like jobs, housing, business partners, or the business itself. Not to mention all the things that don't have monetary value but are very valuable in deed; spouses, children, family, and humor.

Are you successful?
So, have you found what makes you feel successful?

If not, with an honest mind and heart, make a list of all the things that make you happy, then make a list of all the things that you wanted or want to accomplish in life that bring you happiness.

Now look at that list and ask yourself if you are happy, ask yourself if there's something you can do to be happier, but be honest about it. Is that thing going to make you happier? Once you have achieved that one thing that was preventing you from being happier, check back on your list and see if you were right.

Don't let anyone tell you whether or not you are successful, that's something you define, because, who knows YOU better than yourself? If someone that has access to only my financials and my photos on social media is in charge of measuring my success, then there's something wrong there.

Feel free to share your experience here in the comments, no big deal if you don’t want to.