User blog comment:Susanolivia/Fixed Width, Sidebar, and the Removal of Monaco/@comment-75.71.39.16-20101005030510

Movie Reviews: Black Wednesday 3: How To Torture A Well-Loved Protagonist

As the third movie in the Black Wednesday series, it has certainly taken that "rad new direction" that was promised. In fact, its direction was so rad that, as someone who loves to see people being tortured, I gave it 5 stars out of 5! It features axes, chainsaws, machine guns, Chinese water torture, neckties, castrations, amputation, and people cutting out the skin over the heart just to tap at said heart! It was so bloody that for a while after I left the Wikia theatre, I saw everything in a haze of red! Now then, on to the plot.

The plot is very simple: a guy called "Oasis" tortures a guy called "Monaco." This torture is taken to an extreme, and ends in the death of "Monaco." However, this torture sequence can be seen as symbolic, as that is exactly what Monaco will go through on November 3rd. In fact, this is not–so–subtly pointed out by a shot of a day-by-day calender with the date being Nov. 3. However, as irresponsible as I am, I feel the need to utter a few words of caution.

The torture shown in this movie is not suitable for children, adults, or childish adults. It is not suitable for nuns, janitors, undertakers, policemen, or accountants. It is not suitable for senior citizens, and certainly not for those who watch cartoons, especially Family Guy or South Park. It is not suitable for showing in the presence of vampires, mummies, ghosts, goblins, or other supernatural creatures, with the possible exclusion of zombies. Zombies are excluded because once you sell a ticket to one, you should call your local Zombie Hunter to the movie theater, where we can kill it and make the streets safer for all of the groups previously listed, except, of course, zombies.