Thread:Sinjoh/@comment-4190137-20150505141318

I know there has been enough tension between myself and the ORG, particularly a year ago when I 'jumped the shark' and did many horrible things - but I'll get to that later. It took me a lot of thought when I decided whether I should request to join the ORG Wiki group again, and I was delighted to see that I was in it the following day, then I heard you removed me as soon as I liked Luke's appreciation post about Orange. I even planned to post an apology to everyone I had wronged during my time as a bureaucrat on the ORG.

I remember we got into a few serious debates regarding the ORG Heroes vs Villains, but that aside, I have had the utmost respect for you as an editor and as a person - thus why I voted for you in the Hall of Fame vote 18 months ago.

I'm not going to staunch in and be like this is my ORG, believe me, I've changed - I'm not that arrogant corrupt person I once was, spending time away from the ORG has allowed me to come back down to Earth and be more level with people. In the last few months I have apologised to those I have hurt during my time on the ORG (Gerda, Andrei, Isaac, etc.), I also intended to do the same to you, however it seems you have blocked me on Facebook. To this day I am proud of many of the things I've done on the ORG, but I'm also ashamed of some of the bad things I did which could possibly overshadow the good things - but nevertheless, I don't blame you for not liking me. I wouldn't like me if I met the 'Alfons' persona just over a year ago.

The minute I retired as a bureaucrat of the ORG I turned into a psychopath - my devotion towards Eddie in supplement to my big ego on the internet did not mix well - especially since I was battling a substance problem at the time. As time went along it put me in a very dark place, I was depressed and more corrupt than ever. I decided to push myself away from anything ORG-related and focus on real life stuff: friends, school, working, etc. It made me feel a lot better, and I was then keen on making amends to those I hurt on the ORG. I still can get a bit bipolar sometimes (sending you this message now has my heart beating very, very fast, nervous as to what you'll think), but I am a changed person.

I believe I deserve a second chance, I know I did many stupid and thoughtless things like my antics in regards to the Heroes vs Villains cast exposure, but almost a year has passed, and I believe I merit another chance. All I would like is to be in the fold again - just to be a community member of a community which I really respect and enjoy being apart of. I have enough things to worry about in my personal life (eg. school, relationship, social commitments) to be able to return to contribute regularly again - and I am no longer motivated to do so even if I had the chance - with my loss of interest in Survivor altogether. But I am still interested in helping out sporadically (which I've already done with my help with the Alsace-Lorraine buffs), especially since I have some very good friendships on the ORG.

Regardless of whether this post has had an affect on anything, I'd like to thank you for taking your time to read it.

-Lukas 