Thread:Sannse/@comment-28883948-20180128141122/@comment-34520911-20180130023928

Privately? What could be so important that you need to talk privately? (-_-) are you...DATING? Sweet flying flippers! Nigel the TalksWayTooMuchGul and Sannse the ICantCallHerWhatIWantToCallHerHereButHasSomethingToDoWithBucketloadsOfBeefAnd/OrBacon, are together?! Horrifying. Mind shattering. Soul crippling. Downright scary. So scary that anyone who noticed would pee pure liquid fear and poop fragments of their own soul for the next 10 months. Then again nigel likely doesn't check his email. Wait a minute. How did sannse find nigel's email? Either she's a psychotic stalker, or nigel gave that out knowing sannse would find it, which brings us back to horror #1: Sannsigel. Maybe sannse blasts atomic farts that can wipe out a city or burn down a forest. Maybe nigel is into that sort of thing. Maybe sannse is just weird. Or all of the above. We don't know. The point is it's creepy. If nigel is smart he'll run as far as he can in the opposite direction, hopefully off a cliff. Nigel is not smart. No, he'll die at the beefy mitts of deranged stalker all because he checked his email. She'll find nigel's stranded island, haul her rear-end on a boat (not a plane for obvious reasons) and set sail for nigel's  ̶f̶i̶l̶t̶h̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶v̶e̶  house and sneak into it in the dark. And like all good love stories, she'll eat his head. And to add insult to death, she'll roast his pet chickens over a bonfire made from nigel's beheaded corpse. Thats awfully....Sannister (sorry) and this is all because he checked his email! Don't check your emails. Actually, just don't have emails. They're satan's mailboxes. Nigel's "tragic" death will be a lesson! We cant stop sannse's sinister stalkery. Unless they were planning this all along. They're discussing an evil plot for world domination, or talking about how much they love eachother. Somehow this is even scarier.

" I emailed you this morning. Please check your spam file if you don't see it"

 What she actually means

 "I SSSSEEEEEEEEEEE YOU! LET ME SSSSSSSSTALK YOU!

 Until one night... "N-nigel....run........HAHAHAHA!" Weeks after mysteriously finding nigel's email, sannse crept up from the ocean, finally reaching nigel's island. she slithered down his chimney and over nigel's bed, her odor blinding him, she grabbed him with her disgusting overgrown fungus covered fingernails, and with a sudden bone chilling crack she unhinged her entire jaw and swallowed him head first to his doom"

 What do you do when you find yourself threatened by sannse? Run. But first burn your house, your yard, your town, your country and the world down. You can buy a new house. You cant buy a new soul.

 ...to be continued...