User blog comment:Johndoe-m9/What a selfish misunderstanding.../@comment-43622785-20200915004711

Well, it looks like you were blocked from that Wiki sometime ago and, from the looks of your (concerning) contributions and message wall, it must had been very impactful on you because you liked the subject. If you're still upset about it for some reason (like me from another wiki's subject), than you may try to appeal it; however, it's likely not possible given the conduct you may had exhibited there (be it vandalism or blatant violations of their guidelines). The best way forward is to contribute elsewhere that you're interested in.

Oh, and if you're in a bad state of mind right now, I recommend the Crisis Text Line. You're not alone whatsoever.