User blog:Stayuptillmidnight/crying, shaking, and screaming teehee

'''warning: sensitive topics and a whole ton of censored swearing. (i left a lot of stuff out because, well, its a lot)'''

INTRODUCTION

i was in this reaaaally toxic friend group of three. me, a guy named austin, and a demigirl named leah. so. austin told us both that he had just abt EVERY. SINGLE. F*CKING. mental disorder that has ever been documented. thought it make him 'quirky.' obviously leah and i bought into it. he also lied abt cutting (ever since i met him that was like his only personality trait), would threaten suicide if we did sumn he didnt like, and one time even told us he was abt to commit. thought he was dead for a fat*ss hour. i didnt know abt this until after our friendship was over and godd*mn done w. i was also, i will admit, toxic.

STAGE ONE

i did the same thing, though debatably not as bad, as austin. idk what specifically, but my brain is EFFED UP in a lot of ways, and i lied abt things you should never even be honest abt. i tried to drop the two of them bcoz i knew they were kinda toxic + they came w a lot of baggage that would often hurt me. didnt last. a week after, i tried again by TELLING AUSTIN I WAS A FAKE FRIEND. yup kinda hate myself for that. bUT he went to his actual fake friend (10938193774746 times he told me this person was toxic and fake) abt it. when i admitted to having lied abt that and was missing him then he put me up to 'trial' w him and that toxic friend of his. funnily enough almost everyone involved is/was toxic, including me. his friend decided i was toxic which i agree w (the me at the time was def toxic) but austin and i kind of just took a break and started over. later on i attempted suicide and told them goodbye. it didnt work but i decided to just let it blow over for a day and then come back which was literally so manipulative. after all that sh*t though, when i came back, i mean i would too but austin dropped me.

STAGE TWO

austin kept telling leah to keep sending screenies of him insulting me. then leah dropped me. i wish it was left at that but it wasnt. they both HARASSED ME SO GODD*MN HARD. leah even insulted my mom, while austin called me a "f*cking h*e." leah always sided w austin which kind of hurt ngl. obviously me and leah became friends after that because i found out abt austins lies and told leah, and obviously leah is and was still friends with austin, and obviously austin never apologized to me or leah, and obviously this is where things get salty. things w leah and i were fine again. i was part of a newer and much better friend group w her, a girl named jules, and another girl named leah. wed play cards against humanity online, talk abt random stuff (leah and i would mainly talk abt world issues and ourselves), and we would ALWAYS play minecraft. i came out to my dad when things really got f*cked up. he was not very supportive, haha, so he decided that hed take away my phone, delete my gmail acc, delete my discord server and basically everything else online lol. still dont hate him, because he thought it was for my own good, just hate what he did. i told my friends buh bye and confessed to leah. like,, yup i was in deep deep love w her and wanted to spend my life w her lmfao. so my dad deleted everything-

STAGE THREE

that lasted abt 2 months. now im back, although secretly. i got back into contact w another one of my friend groups, a very large one. i tried to reach out to leah for a final goodbye bcoz shes the hardest to get back into contact w. i asked my friend isla to msg her and HAHAHAH she said she wasnt friends w me and denied all relation to me, strangely enough. i thought she was kidding or thought isla was talking abt someone else or.. sumn along the lines of that. incorrect! when i got into contact w my large friend group, turns out she and jules F*CKING HARASSED AND ATTACKED ALL OF MY FRIENDS. they called me manipulative and all sorts of other things (things i used to be, admitted to being, and apologized for our entire remaining friendship for). thats when i decided i wasnt going to try to get back into contact w her again. bU-

STAGE FOUR (what just happened and is making me shake)

she reached out to isla. she asked if isla was still friends w me, isla said yes, and she told isla to send me a screenshot of her saying "im sorry." i told isla that i dont accept it and went on a rant. i said that if leah wanted to know why i didnt accept it then to send it. basically i talked abt all of the sh*t that went down. leah then CALLED ME TOXIC LMFOAOSODBDUISCGGYSO. she went f*cking off. so i went off back. um yeah she called me toxic and toxic and again, toxic. she also continuously misgendered me even after i repeatedly mentioned it. she also repeatedly acted like she was such a victim omggg TWT QWQ. smh b*tches be bonkers bcoz she do be getting all riled up abt me when shes still friends w probably the most toxic human being on earth besides kim kardashian and maybe donald trump.

CONCLUSION

we were all toxic but even after i stopped, austin and leah continued to be toxic, they never rly changed, im crying because i loved austin like a brother and i loved leah so so much that i wanted to spend my entire life w her and kind of still do. chile anyways if you think this is fake B*TCH NAHHH YOU CANT MAKE THIS SH*T UP LMFAOO