User blog:Idekmandy/How to Strengthen LGBTQIA+ Allyship With Lenhi

Hello, hello, hello everyone!

As we focus on “Looking Back and Moving Forward” this Pride Month, it's crucial to acknowledge how much we need allies to join the fight with us in order to make forward progress. With that in mind, I am excited to share a very special blog with you today. Not written by me, but written by someone very close to me - Lenhi, who is a Fandom Star and admin on the Steven Universe and LGBTQIA+ Wikis. Throughout the years, I have learned so much from him about wikis, about myself, about my identity, and about the importance of having strong bonds with people who truly understand you. As queer folks, we have the unique experience of choosing our own families, and Len has become an incredibly important member in mine. If you'd like to learn more about him personally, go check out his Editor Story from last year, where he discusses his journey on Fandom and the powerful impact of community and visibility. If you'd like to explore ways to strengthen your allyship for the LGBTQIA+ community, then read on to learn Len's perspective and insights on how to show your support, not only now, but for years to come.

 https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/1d2dc707-a5ab-4016-96fe-56492759c3b3/thumbnail/width/50/height/50 Lenhi Hello everyone!

During Pride Month, we remember queer history, celebrate the icons and figures who have made an impact on our community and the world, and recognize the people who continue to fight for LGBTQIA+ rights today.

Just two weeks ago, the Human Rights Campaign declared a state of emergency for LGBTQIA+ people living in the United States for the first time in its 40+ years of existence.

This month, we have seen two anti-LGBTQIA+ bills signed into Missouri state law: the banning of transgender students from participating in sports aligning with their gender identity and restricting necessary gender-affirming medical care for transgender individuals under the age of 18. The Louisiana State Senate also recently passed three bills: the Gender Affirming Care Ban, the "Don’t Say LGBTQ+" Bill, and the Pronoun Restriction Bill, which bars transgender students from using their preferred name and pronouns unless given written parental consent.

These attacks on our rights have become the norm, not the exception. This year, the United States has seen more than 530+ bills being introduced to state legislatures in order to restrict and take away the rights of LGBTQIA+ individuals; 76 of these bills have already been signed into law thus far.

With anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation reaching an unprecedented high, we need allies to support and uplift our community now more than ever. In light of this and in the spirit of Pride Month, it has become critical to highlight how allies to the queer community can be as supportive as possible.

How you can help

 * **There may be content triggering for some individuals below in reference to issues of mental health and violence; read at your own discretion.**

Listen
The best source of information about the LGBTQIA+ community is from queer individuals—we are the ones continuing to live through these hardships.

There is not an expectation that, as an ally, you need to know absolutely everything there is to know by default. However, it is your responsibility to hear the voices of queer people in order to best understand how it is to live in our shoes and what you can do to support us both individually and as a whole.

The experiences of queer people are analogous, not identical—there are core experiences that the LGBTQIA+ community shares, but each queer person is their own individual. Coinciding with being queer, you have to take into consideration factors such as where someone may be living, their race and culture, their assigned gender and the expectations attached to that, whether or not they are able-bodied, what their support system may look like, as well as their socioeconomic status, to name just a few things that can shape someone’s journey in life.

We live in a time where a plethora of information is accessible to us through the internet. It gives us the ability to connect with people from all walks of life and learn information from many different sources that may have otherwise been unavailable to us through traditional means. Whereas in the past many queer people would find themselves isolated, many of us have found the internet to be a place of comfort, self-discovery, and a crucial tool that continues to allow us to find other queer people.

Despite living in what could be seen as more "fortunate" circumstances, being queer continues to be stressful and tiring. You cannot be an ally and expect queer people to be willing educators at all times. It is not fun or exciting to constantly be on the clock to explain and justify ourselves as people who exist and deserve to have the same rights and respect as any other person.

There are, however, many queer people who are totally open and willing to engage with anyone who will listen, while many of us prefer to be reserved about who we choose to hold discussions with. In the same vein, some queer people may resort to blunt humor in order to cope and bond with one another, while others in the community may not share the same feelings in regards to that. None of these are inherently wrong stances or approaches to have and therefore should not be seen as the lower or higher road to take—being a true ally to queer people means acceptance on all levels with no strings or judgment attached.

Be aware
To be an ally is to be aware that being queer is, more often than not, coupled with traumatic experiences.


 * Less than half of LGBTQIA+ people feel that they are able to be open about their identities with their own families. 14% of LGBTQIA+ youth have reported to the Trevor Project that they have been kicked out or abandoned by their caregivers—40% of this percentile being due to being queer.
 * Recent studies by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law report that LGBTQIA+ people are 4 times as likely to experience violence as non-LGBTQIA+ people; for LGBTQIA+ women, this rate is 5 times as high. Amongst this, they are 6 times more likely to experience violence from someone they know and 2.5 times more likely to experience violence from a stranger.
 * LGBTQIA+ individuals are also twice as likely to experience mental health issues, with suicide being the leading cause of death for LGBTQIA+ people ages 10 to 24 and occurring five times as often as non-LGBTQIA+ people.
 * 42% of LGBTQIA+ people in the United States report living in a hostile environment. In 2020, the HRC reported a record-breaking number of murders for transgender people, with 66% of the cases that the Foundation has recorded disproportionately affecting Black transgender women.
 * 22% of LGBTQIA+ people report living in poverty, in comparison to an estimated 16% of straight and cisgender people. LGBTQIA+ people report higher rates of unemployment, and 40% of the LGBTQIA+ workforce is employed in lower-wage fields with little to no benefits offered, such as healthcare coverage.

This is only the tip of the iceberg of injustices LGBTQIA+ people face disproportionately in relation to our non-queer counterparts. The majority of us, if not all, can undoubtedly see ourselves and our lives in these statistics. Being queer goes hand-in-hand with being questioned, isolated, and hated for no reason other than living our true lives.

It is unfair to expect all queer people to subscribe to the idea that we should always be willing to teach the ignorant about all the negative feelings and pain we have experienced throughout our lives. Never push anyone outside of their comfort zone, and don’t come into allyship expecting these things to be shared by queer people by default.

Take action
Being an ally means taking action with the privileges you hold as a non-queer person in mind.

Whether it be joining members of the LGBTQIA+ community in protest or making an effort to spread awareness of queer history and current events, being vigilant in fighting against ignorance and hate is invaluable to the fight against bigotry towards our community and any other marginalized group. Neutrality is not an option in a world flooded with many people doing the most to infringe on the rights of queer people.

If you see discrimination or unfair expectations being directed towards a queer person, say something and do something the moment it happens. Queer issues are largely trivialized, and most of us experience harassment and gaslighting when we try to stand up for ourselves. Use your privileged position to validate our concerns to those who may not otherwise see them that way, whether or not we are present in the room—both literally and digitally speaking—or not.

Many proclaimed allies, whether or not they realize it, use their support of LGBTQIA+ people to feel absolved of any bias and to make themselves feel better, when that is not the goal or point of being an ally—it’s all about unlearning instilled bias and learning to understand our perspectives to the best of your ability.

Your role as an ally is to be a part of the support system that helps our community control and share our stories on our own terms. When taking action, it is important to focus on and elevate the voices, thoughts, and feelings of queer people—don’t insert yourself into the narrative. Being an ally isn’t about taking center stage; it's about making space and shining a spotlight on us. This can range from actively supporting queer people who have offered their personal thoughts and opinions to sharing forms of queer-centric media, such as books, articles, podcasts, music, or films.

As an ally, always make the choice to be an active part of the fight against discrimination and hate, however you can. LGBTQIA+ people don’t have a choice in this matter, and to stand with us is to never look away from the reality of our hardships and struggles.

The main takeaway
There is a false notion that queer people must adhere to a certain standard of behavior in order to deserve acceptance, but that is a flawed view to hold. Queer people are allowed to be depressed, to be in pain, to grieve, to be angry, and to feel spiteful, just as we should be able to feel safe, to be stable, and to find happiness. Thinking otherwise is being part of the problem that we are trying to fight against.

No one is perfect, and that’s why, as an ally, you should always be open to hearing feedback from queer people without any "ifs" or "buts". Allyship is all about taking the step forward to stand up for us, willingly being in uncomfortable positions, unavoidably making mistakes, and taking those lessons to heart in order to become a stronger ally to our community.

The most powerful and sincere support you can give to the LGBTQIA+ community is to accept who we are through thick and thin and at our lows and highs.

Remember, this fight isn’t about you, but what you, as an ally, are able to do by joining us in it.

We as queer people are attached to this journey for life, and it is my most sincere hope that you, as our ally, choose every day and in every moment to continue learning and supporting us through whatever may come.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with and/or questioning their identity, or if you would like to learn more about LGBTQIA+ culture and history, please check out the resources below:


 * LGBTQIA+ Resources
 * LGBTQIA+ Wiki
 * LGBTQIA+ Terminology
 * Gender Identity Guidelines