User talk:Honig

HONIG

"honig is gay." -Cody Berman on Honig.

Although "honig" is known to the Germans as what we Americans call honey, Honig is also a person of the species Glapatophorius. The Glapatophorius species is somewhat similar to the Pigden species.

Both of the preceeding species evolved in the time of the dinosaurs. The Glapatophorius' were slightly smarter than the Pigdens, and took the nickname "Honig". There is a rumour that they mated with the Pigdens, and the first chicken was born (yes, before the egg!).

In 1234 B.C., the Honigs steeled in Antarctica, and lived off of penguin meat and cannabalism. Ten years later, Jepetto Honig moved all of the Honigs into Central America, and there they remained until the birth of the Nile River, in which two-thirds of the Honigs drowned in.

Shortly after, the Honigs were still in Egypt when the most vile of the seven plauges, Wal-Mart, was born. This happened after Moses requested to the Pharoah: "Let my eople shop," to which he was replied: "No." God then built Wal-Mart as a punishment.

The Honigs lived in Wal-Mart for the next few centuries, until the eruption on Mount McKinley caused the extinction of the Pigden race. After the extinction of the Pigdens, the Honigs thought it to be safe outside of Wal-Mart, and they were completely mistaken.

Just as the Honigs had left the sanctuary of the Wal-Mart, the Jedi race had taken over the galaxy. Thinking all was well, the Honigs left Earth and went to the ice planet Yavin 4, where the race of half-dwellers and carpet-baggers were taking over, led by Gollum, Neo, George W. Bush, Hitler-Witler, and the one known as Yoda.

After the destruction of the Jedi government, the Honigs moved back to Earth and settled in a place called New Jersey, where the so-called "Alpha-Honig" was born B.T. Honig. The name was eventually changed to B.L.T. Honig, and finally he was just known as "Honig".

Shortly after, in the 1990's, the Honigs moved to Chicago. Here, they discovered such foods as pizza, granola, and monosodium-glutamate. Now, the Honig race lives peacefully within the boundaries of Sesame Street, specifically 21 Colon-and-a-dash Street. You can often see them at the Warfield playing tic-tac-toe and such