User:Juice Lawnmower

Howard Moher
Howard Moher (sometimes known as "Honvard Moher" or "Homvard Moher") is one of the two original, and most powerful, Supreme Gods, and the only being who could match Dara Silver in battle.

PreBirth and Beggining of Dara Rivalry
Howard appeared .05 milliseconds after the Big-Bang, for reasons that have yet to be uncovered by science, at the exact same time as Dara Silver. This event is generally known as the PreBirth, and is understood only in the way that has just been described, excluding, of course, the understanding of Dara and Howard themselves. (Some say that Ariel Simon may understand the event on at least a deeper level than that of the typical mortal).

What happened after the PreBirth, other than the basic known fact that Howard and Dara began their unending battle that still rages on today, was the near destruction of time and space. No life form other than them could have survived it, in fact, some claim that the state of reality at the time could not even be described as a universe. Eventually, for unknown reasons, the two seperated, the universe returned to normal, and life began to develop across the cosmos.

Arrival on Earth
Amongst all the inumerable planets of the Universe, Howard and Dara, seemingly at random, chose Earth as their battleground. It is unknown at what point in the Earth's development they arrived, although some theorize that the 180 km asteroid that impacted the Earth 65 million years ago, causing the death of the Dinosaurs, was Howard's ride. The way in which Dara arrived, and the time at which she did, is unknown, but it is generally beileived that Howard arrived first.

Historical Records
The first historical record of Howard is a 50,000 year old cave painting found in southern Egypt, that depicted a humanoid figure, holding what appears to be an electric guitar. The figures eyes are blacked out, and look suspiciously as if the figure is wearing sunglasses. The figure has a huge cock. This is widely beleived to be the first ever recording of Howard.

Accounts of Howard have since been rampant throughout history. Every empire, nation, city-state, province, and other type of civilization on earth has various accounts of him.

Arrival In, and Escape From, Britain
The story of Howard and Dara, was generally the same, constant fighting with no victor, until the early twentieth century. In 1901, Howard settled down in Manchester, England. Dara, meanwhile settled in Creskill, New Jersey, in the United States. Howard met a young woman named Elizabeth II. He fell in love with her at the dawn of the Great War, and they had a horribly gay, pubic haired child together, whom they named Joshua. When the Queen was overthrown and forced to flee Europe, Howard took her and their gay son across the Atlantic, arriving in Englewood New Jersey.

Dara had predicted everything that was going to happen, which was her reason for settling in Creskill; it had been a trap for Howard. The great battle began again. This time with Howard's family in the crossfires.

Fighting with Dara, mixed with classic radical Howard activities ensued for several years, before Howard was forced to fight against the Marc Szechter Virus and the Fine Bros, destroying them both with his quickly assembled team of heroes, all of which died except for Howard. (For more information on this, see "Marc Szechter-Fine Bros Apocalypse").

Quotes
"Let's rock and roll!"

"Let's rock and roll boys!"

"Die Josh!"

"Go on, have a sniff!"

"Look at the two ducks!"

"Just go in the pool!"

"Fuck off."

"Look at me, Josh! I'm going to fly this plane into the Twin Towers, then blame it all on Muslims! Hahaha!"

"Look at me, Josh! I'm going to attack the U.S. embassy in Benghazi, then blame it on Muslims! Hahaha!"

"Look at me, Josh! I'm going to kill six million Jews, then blame it all on this Hitler bloke! Hahaha!"

"You're a Pistachio Golem!"