Board Thread:Support Requests - Community Management/@comment-36692412-20181007060434/@comment-36692412-20181027034717

Fandyllic wrote: LOL, the OP answered their own question and then blames the admin. It reminds me of "doctor, why does it hurt when I bang my head against the wall?" Here's the answer from P.vijeyata Naidu on Quora:

I bashed my head against the wall today. Multiple times. I have been doing this since my childhood every time I was upset. It’s something that came naturally to me when I was unable to bear my reality. So I did it today as well, right after I had an emotional and mental breakdown. But this time I started thinking amidst all the headache giddiness I developed after doing the deed, that why do I do this all the time? I found out that it exhausted me. After crying my eyes out and bashing my head against the wall, slapping myself real hard, and scratching my skin etc etc, I became so tired that I felt blank. The thoughts were gone. I felt so worn out, that I just slept. After waking up my head was in splits with terrible headache. The headache replaced the emotional pain I was experiencing earlier.

Having described my break down here, in no way I am promoting self harm. I am only describing a typical scenario most of us depressed people experience. This whole exercise left me with no solution but only numbed out the emotional pain while increasing the physical pain. This, in no way solved my problems. I am pretty sure after a while of being normal I will want to hurt myself again during another meltdown. The point is that, it’s just a survival hack your brain uses on you when it’s unable to process all the negative guilt inducing thoughts. Being a depressed human being one gives in and starts self harming. I decided to find out today for the first time whether I am the only one to do this to myself or others suffer from these tendencies as well, and for the first time I am sorry to find out I am not alone.

I figured after hurting myself a lot I still wasn’t satisfied and wanted to take it a notch higher and do something insane. Then I pictured the plight of my loved ones, my parents when they would get to know what I had done to myself. I gave up that thought immediately. I stood up and dialed my parents. I wasn’t able to talk between the breathless sobs, while I covered that up as bad signals and disturbance caused by them. They sensed my troubled state of mind, and talked to me affectionately which they hadn’t done lately. That itself worked like magic. I was out of that self destructive phase instantly. I do not have a friend as such, so I talked to my parents and realized my life is worth living for my parents at least. If you have a friend you can trust, please call them and talk to them. It will certainly help. Being alone will only make it worse. Also whatever the brain is trying to achieve by making you hurt yourself can also be achieved by proper medications. I haven’t sought help till now, but I am going to. I know there is a way if I want to find one. So can you. Hence,Don’t hurt yourself. Give love to yourself. You need more of that. If you wouldn’t then who will?

Good speed my friend.